The Scary "M" Word

Easy girls, don't freak out yet! I'm not going to try to talk you into dressing like your grandmother. However, this is pretty long - I hope you can take the time to read it and check out the video and links below (:

Biblical modesty is a phrase that most women shy away from or all out avoid - including me.

About a month ago a video article popped up on my Facebook newsfeed that intrigued me. It was titled "Bikini Facts That Will Probably Blow Your Mind - We're Talking Atomic Bomb Here, Not Firecrackers". Yeah ok, haven't heard that claim before. Uh-huh. However, after watching it my mind was totally blown. It is still blown! My thoughts are constantly returning to it in my quiet alone time (and let's face it, I'm a work-at-home wife that cooks all day - I have a lot of quiet alone time!). The video (I linked to it at the bottom) was definitely not what I was expecting! The video itself is titled "The Evolution of the Swim Suit" and it's presented by Jessica Rey. 

I'm not going to go through all the details of the video - you need to take the time to watch it yourself. It's totally worth it. I am, however, going to touch on a few of the topics that stood out to me the most and add in some of my own reading on the topic.

Let's be honest, things have changed a lot for women over the years - especially in terms of how we dress. One of the big things that stood out to me in Jessica's presentation was the reaction men have towards women depending on their attire. Men view and think of women as objects when they are scantily clad, thus disregarding any emotions they may have. However, when women are dressed in a well covered and sophisticated manner, men then view that woman as a human being with thoughts and feelings. Jessica discusses the importance of dressing modestly throughout her video and although she brings up good points I wanted to dig a little deeper.

In my search I found a few verses about modesty that I thought were worth covering.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

This verse isn't telling us that we aren't to braid our hair or wear jewelry, but that what should stand out about us is our deeds and actions rather than our fancy clothes or high end accessories. If the main thing someone sees when they look at you is how you dress rather than the grace and love of a Godly woman it is time to possibly reconsider a) your wardrobe, b) your lifestyle/character, or c) both. Take pride in being a strong woman of God more so than flaunting your clothing.

But look at the first part of the verse, that is where I want to focus. "dress modestly, with decency and propriety.." What is modesty? Many like to argue it depends on culture, but is that truly the case? Our culture has turned short shirts and low necklines into the expected style of women. As a result men are viewing women with less and less respect and instead viewing them as objects or more so, as pieces of meat. A man cat-calling out his car window and honking as he drives by isn't him respecting you or thinking you are beautiful. He is looking at you out of lust and desire.

Matthew 5:28 says, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Ladies, do we want to be responsible for that? Romans 14:13 clearly tells us not to be a stumbling block to others. Isn't that what we are doing when we parade around leaving little to the imagination? Sure, the men could just not look at us out of lust..but I am pretty sure that is much easier said than done, especially when we aren't making it any easier for them.

Trust me, I'm not preaching or judging here. I have consistently felt convicted about this since watching the video a few weeks ago and it has been on my heart to share it. Obviously modesty isn't limited to swimwear, but let me focus on that area for a moment. I'm a married woman. Outside of occasionally sharing a dressing room with some of my girlfriends, my husband is the only one that sees me in my underwear. If my bra and underwear are inappropriate to wear around in public then what makes my bikini any different? Let's face it, bikinis are looking closer and closer to a bra and underwear and I'm sure the square inches of material is pretty close to that of your undergarments as well- if not less. This isn't me suggesting you throw your bikini in the garbage by any means, I'm just asking you to take the time to think about it and make your own decisions. After all, many stores like, Victoria's Secret, definitely don't make the one-piece bathing suit seem very modest either.

So what I'm wondering is this: Where do we draw the line? When does it become too little or inappropriate? I'm beginning to see how the "norm" of society has numbed us in this area. The more leg we show and the lower the neckline the better we look! The better we think we look the more confidence we have and the more power we hold.

But is that really where we should find our confidence and power as women? 

As women we are capable of more than most men can even comprehend. Seriously. We have an incredible ability to love, to serve, to lead, to multitask, to understand, to feel...to be beautiful. Until we use these qualities in a respectable way we won't have the true confidence we desire. We don't need a man succumbing and lusting after our bodies to be beautiful. Our beauty and power comes from God. He is specific in his desires for us in each area of our lives. 

Ladies, I challenge you to take a stand for modesty. Not in old lady clothes - but in fashionable, beautiful, self-respecting and most importantly God honoring clothing. Our body is his temple and his temple is not meant to be exploited or used disrespectfully.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price, therefore honor God with your bodies."

I am in no way pointing fingers or casting judgement. This is something I struggle with. I was that girl in high school and college that felt empowered by men calling out to me, honking their horns, or giving me that second glance. My bikini probably has less material than most of my undergarments. My shorts are short. These are things that never used to phase me but are now becoming increasingly more uncomfortable. I struggle daily with what to do, especially when I consider purchasing a bathing suit with more coverage. I start to get this nagging thought that I won't get to show off all this hard work I have been doing during my gym time. But I am wrong. I am trying to be fit and healthy for me - and to share it with my husband. I have nothing to prove to the rest of the world except that I am a strong and empowered woman of God that respects the body He gave me.

Start respecting your bodies. Join me in making a change in modesty. Help me make modesty into something desirable, not something people view as stuffy or ugly. And as we start to show the world that we respect our bodies, men will in turn start respecting us.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears The Lord is to be praised."

Proverbs 31:30

I've found some clothing sites that are fashionable and promote modesty - check them out and share them with your friends!

1. Shabby Apple - SUPER cute clothes! A little on the pricey side, but great retro/vintage bikinis and dresses.
2. The Jean Girl Shop - This site doesn't just have dresses and skirts like many of the others, it also has some great tops & shorts! I'm definitely going to be investing in some of these. The prices aren't bad either! The shorts pictured here are just $15!
3. Down East Basics - This site sells everything from denim to dresses and even accessories - and great prices!
4. Divinita Sole - Alright guys -this site is legit! You pretty much design your own swimsuit to fit your body type and style!
5. noVae Clothing - Another great site with denim, hats, handbags and some super cute dresses.
6. MikaRose - Okay, I'm going to try not to be too biased here - but this is one of my favorite sites I've found! They are definitely going to be getting some business from me when we move back to the states! This site has some absolutely beautiful tops, skirts and dresses and they prices really aren't bad!

-I have a TON more sites I've found, but this post is already long enough (: So I'm going to stop here. If anyone is interested in a post just of the clothing sites I've found make sure to let me know.

Here is my Modest & Fashionable Pinterest Board (: And if you're a Pinterest addict like me, just type "Modest Fashion" into the search bar and check out what comes up!

Ok - before I type any more I'm going to post Jessica Rey's video and end it!!! Thanks for taking the time to read all my ramblings <3

Fundraiser Results & Birthday Fun!

Wow.

Seriously, I don't even know what else to say! Y'all have literally blown me away with your generosity.

A month ago my heart sank after hearing from my friend and college roommate that her mother had been diagnosed with lung cancer and undergone surgery. (read about it here) The family is in need of financial support so the Cut At Cancer fundraiser got set up. We set a goal for $500, and I was honestly hoping to pass it and get around $800.

Holy cow - you guys had other plans!!!

 

I am completely blown away, this is the best gift I could have received! Thank you to everyone that donated, to everyone that shared the link on facebook, and to everyone that prayed. Please continue praying for the family.

I heard from Elsie a few days ago and she was able to update me on her mom, Leslie. She said that she has had a rough few days, but her last chemo wasn't as bad as the others. Leslie's fourth chemo treatment is this upcoming week - please continue to pray for her and her strength.

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Last Saturday was my 25th birthday, as many of you know. On Friday I got 12 inches of my hair cut off! It is being donated to Children With Hair Loss on our return to the States in a few weeks. 12 inches is a drastic change to say the least! I do like it, but I think I look really young with it short. I also haven't gotten to play with it a whole lot since it needs to stay up and out of the way while I cook, but it is definitely not what I'm used to! I've had a hard time keeping it pinned, braided, or twisted back and having bangs is beyond annoying! But I like them - so headbands have become my new best friend (: I have been trying to find some tutorials on easy and cute styles for short hair..and I've come up short (haha - sorry, I couldn't help it!) I think I'm going to play with it and see what I can come up with this week. I may share some ideas if they actually turn out!

Here is the before & after: 

So Saturday I woke up, went grocery shopping, then headed to school to play in a hockey tournament! Mind you, this was the second time I've played hockey...ever - but I think we did pretty good! We made it to the semi-finals and when we did loose, we lost against the champions. They took donations for a fundraiser during the tournament, and come to find out it was for my fundraiser! The medical students that organized the tournament surprised me with the can of money at the end of the day. All the wonderful hockey players and watchers gave about $57US for Leslie Miles!

That evening my husband surprised me with a lovely dinner at a classy restaurant in town called FLOW. The food was fantastic to say the least!!! I didn't take my camera or anything so I don't have any pictures to show off, sorry guys. When we got back - and I got out of those darn heels - we headed next door where I was surprised by a bunch of our friends, a balloon hat, and a flourless nutella cake!! YUM! My evening ended with us all sitting in the living room telling funny stories and listening to random songs. It was such a fantastic birthday!

The following day I was yet again surprised! I was blindfolded upon leaving church and loaded into a taxi. I was then driven somewhere and lead down a stone pathway to a table where they took the tie (blindfold) off of my eyes and I was met by about 15 friends for a birthday lunch at one of my favorite restaurants, Driftwood!

My weekend was fantastic to say the least. Timothy and I are so blessed to have such an amazing support group of friends on the island here. Everyone made me feel so loved on my birthday, it was like I was home with family (:

Here are some pictures from the weekend:

It doesn't look like much - but it sure feels like a lot!

There you have it- 12 inches!

My amazing birthday cake!!!

Me & my hubby! I'm sporting my balloon hat by Ryan (:

Best picture I could get with my iPad of my wonderful "family" at lunch on Sunday!

A Cut At Cancer - Quarter Century Edition

Dear family and friends, and friends of family and friends,

Over the past 6 months cancer of many different sorts has wreaked havoc on my family and friends. Cancer has claimed two of the lives and the other two continue to fight strong and hard. One of the lives lost belonged to a dear family friend and second father to me, Billy Ball. He was a loving husband and father. 

The cancer took him on March 25th.

Being over 2,000 miles away from home and from my family and friends has become incresingly frustrating and left me feeling unbelievably helpless. But I'm not helpless.

I have hair.

I know that sounds odd, but let's be honest, what is something most cancer patients that endure chemo therapy end up without? Hair. What do I have growing out of my head at a rapid rate? Hair!

Snip snip ;)

But I can't just cut off my hair and leave it at that. That wouldn't be nearly enough. So here is my real reason for sharing this with everyone.

This is Leslie Miles. Mother of my close friend and roommate from college, Elsie. Sunday night Elsie informed me that a couple months back her mom was diagnosed with Stage 1 Lung Cancer. When she went into surgery to have the cancer removed the doctor found out the PET Scan hadn't found all areas of cancer, so her whole lung had to be removed immediately and her diagnosis was upped to Stage 3 Lung Cancer. The surgery was successful and she had a good recovery. She has finished her second bout of chemo treatment in hopes to catch any other possible cancer risks and is a strong, beautiful woman. But she is unable to work and her husband retired a few years back. Let's face it, the bills that add up between doctors appointments, chemo treatments, and any medicine needed are exceedingly high. They need help.

So here is where you guys come in.

As many of you know, my birthday is coming up on July 26th..I will be a quarter of a century (eek!). I would like to ask that rather than any gifts for me that you instead give to Leslie. I am healthy and working. Anything I could possibly need or want I can purchase on my own.

And here is how everything will work (:

I have set up a fundraiser through YouCaring that I have linked below. The fundraiser is going to run through August 1st. My goal is to raise $500 by then - but I'd love to blow that goal out of the water! Also, on my birthday I will be cutting my hair off - 12 whole inches! I will be donating the hair to Children With Hair Loss in memory of Billy Ball and in honor of Leslie Miles.

CLICK HERE TO DONATE TO LESLIE

Please take the time to share this with everyone you know and, if you are able, please donate to help Leslie's medical bills.

Thank you for taking the time to read and share this and for your generosity! I ask that you please keep Leslie and her family in your prayers and I will keep y'all updated.