The Scary "M" Word

Easy girls, don't freak out yet! I'm not going to try to talk you into dressing like your grandmother. However, this is pretty long - I hope you can take the time to read it and check out the video and links below (:

Biblical modesty is a phrase that most women shy away from or all out avoid - including me.

About a month ago a video article popped up on my Facebook newsfeed that intrigued me. It was titled "Bikini Facts That Will Probably Blow Your Mind - We're Talking Atomic Bomb Here, Not Firecrackers". Yeah ok, haven't heard that claim before. Uh-huh. However, after watching it my mind was totally blown. It is still blown! My thoughts are constantly returning to it in my quiet alone time (and let's face it, I'm a work-at-home wife that cooks all day - I have a lot of quiet alone time!). The video (I linked to it at the bottom) was definitely not what I was expecting! The video itself is titled "The Evolution of the Swim Suit" and it's presented by Jessica Rey. 

I'm not going to go through all the details of the video - you need to take the time to watch it yourself. It's totally worth it. I am, however, going to touch on a few of the topics that stood out to me the most and add in some of my own reading on the topic.

Let's be honest, things have changed a lot for women over the years - especially in terms of how we dress. One of the big things that stood out to me in Jessica's presentation was the reaction men have towards women depending on their attire. Men view and think of women as objects when they are scantily clad, thus disregarding any emotions they may have. However, when women are dressed in a well covered and sophisticated manner, men then view that woman as a human being with thoughts and feelings. Jessica discusses the importance of dressing modestly throughout her video and although she brings up good points I wanted to dig a little deeper.

In my search I found a few verses about modesty that I thought were worth covering.

1 Timothy 2:9-10 "I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God."

This verse isn't telling us that we aren't to braid our hair or wear jewelry, but that what should stand out about us is our deeds and actions rather than our fancy clothes or high end accessories. If the main thing someone sees when they look at you is how you dress rather than the grace and love of a Godly woman it is time to possibly reconsider a) your wardrobe, b) your lifestyle/character, or c) both. Take pride in being a strong woman of God more so than flaunting your clothing.

But look at the first part of the verse, that is where I want to focus. "dress modestly, with decency and propriety.." What is modesty? Many like to argue it depends on culture, but is that truly the case? Our culture has turned short shirts and low necklines into the expected style of women. As a result men are viewing women with less and less respect and instead viewing them as objects or more so, as pieces of meat. A man cat-calling out his car window and honking as he drives by isn't him respecting you or thinking you are beautiful. He is looking at you out of lust and desire.

Matthew 5:28 says, "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Ladies, do we want to be responsible for that? Romans 14:13 clearly tells us not to be a stumbling block to others. Isn't that what we are doing when we parade around leaving little to the imagination? Sure, the men could just not look at us out of lust..but I am pretty sure that is much easier said than done, especially when we aren't making it any easier for them.

Trust me, I'm not preaching or judging here. I have consistently felt convicted about this since watching the video a few weeks ago and it has been on my heart to share it. Obviously modesty isn't limited to swimwear, but let me focus on that area for a moment. I'm a married woman. Outside of occasionally sharing a dressing room with some of my girlfriends, my husband is the only one that sees me in my underwear. If my bra and underwear are inappropriate to wear around in public then what makes my bikini any different? Let's face it, bikinis are looking closer and closer to a bra and underwear and I'm sure the square inches of material is pretty close to that of your undergarments as well- if not less. This isn't me suggesting you throw your bikini in the garbage by any means, I'm just asking you to take the time to think about it and make your own decisions. After all, many stores like, Victoria's Secret, definitely don't make the one-piece bathing suit seem very modest either.

So what I'm wondering is this: Where do we draw the line? When does it become too little or inappropriate? I'm beginning to see how the "norm" of society has numbed us in this area. The more leg we show and the lower the neckline the better we look! The better we think we look the more confidence we have and the more power we hold.

But is that really where we should find our confidence and power as women? 

As women we are capable of more than most men can even comprehend. Seriously. We have an incredible ability to love, to serve, to lead, to multitask, to understand, to feel...to be beautiful. Until we use these qualities in a respectable way we won't have the true confidence we desire. We don't need a man succumbing and lusting after our bodies to be beautiful. Our beauty and power comes from God. He is specific in his desires for us in each area of our lives. 

Ladies, I challenge you to take a stand for modesty. Not in old lady clothes - but in fashionable, beautiful, self-respecting and most importantly God honoring clothing. Our body is his temple and his temple is not meant to be exploited or used disrespectfully.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price, therefore honor God with your bodies."

I am in no way pointing fingers or casting judgement. This is something I struggle with. I was that girl in high school and college that felt empowered by men calling out to me, honking their horns, or giving me that second glance. My bikini probably has less material than most of my undergarments. My shorts are short. These are things that never used to phase me but are now becoming increasingly more uncomfortable. I struggle daily with what to do, especially when I consider purchasing a bathing suit with more coverage. I start to get this nagging thought that I won't get to show off all this hard work I have been doing during my gym time. But I am wrong. I am trying to be fit and healthy for me - and to share it with my husband. I have nothing to prove to the rest of the world except that I am a strong and empowered woman of God that respects the body He gave me.

Start respecting your bodies. Join me in making a change in modesty. Help me make modesty into something desirable, not something people view as stuffy or ugly. And as we start to show the world that we respect our bodies, men will in turn start respecting us.

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears The Lord is to be praised."

Proverbs 31:30

I've found some clothing sites that are fashionable and promote modesty - check them out and share them with your friends!

1. Shabby Apple - SUPER cute clothes! A little on the pricey side, but great retro/vintage bikinis and dresses.
2. The Jean Girl Shop - This site doesn't just have dresses and skirts like many of the others, it also has some great tops & shorts! I'm definitely going to be investing in some of these. The prices aren't bad either! The shorts pictured here are just $15!
3. Down East Basics - This site sells everything from denim to dresses and even accessories - and great prices!
4. Divinita Sole - Alright guys -this site is legit! You pretty much design your own swimsuit to fit your body type and style!
5. noVae Clothing - Another great site with denim, hats, handbags and some super cute dresses.
6. MikaRose - Okay, I'm going to try not to be too biased here - but this is one of my favorite sites I've found! They are definitely going to be getting some business from me when we move back to the states! This site has some absolutely beautiful tops, skirts and dresses and they prices really aren't bad!

-I have a TON more sites I've found, but this post is already long enough (: So I'm going to stop here. If anyone is interested in a post just of the clothing sites I've found make sure to let me know.

Here is my Modest & Fashionable Pinterest Board (: And if you're a Pinterest addict like me, just type "Modest Fashion" into the search bar and check out what comes up!

Ok - before I type any more I'm going to post Jessica Rey's video and end it!!! Thanks for taking the time to read all my ramblings <3